A Smile On Your Face

I think I'm losing it. 

And if I'm not losing it I think sooner or later I will lose it, or at least start to lose it.

I need to compose myself. I need to, um, go to a far far away place and relax and get my groove and bounce back faster and stronger than I've ever bounced back before.

Reminder: Trials are less than 2 months away, SPM is about 4 months away, I can barely keep up with my studies, I don't have a photographic memory, I wish I had a photographic memory, I'm never going to get a scholarship, I'll disappoint my parents, I'll die without ever getting my dream job or ever publishing a novel, I'll have to get 99 cats to live with me and I'll die alone, old and hagged and wrinkly. :(

But well, this time the case is different. Instead of whining and telling you that I had better start studying, this time I'll tell you that I HAVE started studying. I mean, face the facts: besides the super geniuses, who hasn't?

Unfortunately, with the speed I'm going, I'll only be able to finish studying by the age of 73. 

But I can't help it! Everytime I sit down with a textbook or a reference book I have the tendency to go through every passage/paragraph in detail or at least until I can remember the important points. 

Hence the regret that I didn't start revising earlier and curse my self-confidence. I was so sure this was going to be another PMR year, that I would be able to finish studying everything in time. But I'm beginning to think otherwise. :S

Furthermore I still have so many things to do: layouts to design and to make sure they get designed and are handed in on time, data to gather and to arrange them properly, all in all- to make sure I do my part in the publishing of the yearbook before graduation. 

But you know what? Heck, I can do this. Nothing in this world is impossible, nothing in this world in unachievable. We're humans, top of the food chain, the ones who can do anything, who are the smartest living creatures on this earth and also the dumbest. But that's beside the point. The point is that, well, if Einstein can discover that E equals to MC square and Edison the lightbulb, then I bloody well can do this. :)

Study More.

If I can get through this month and still be alive by the end of it, I shall bungee jump off Mount Everest.

Meh.

THE CHINESE PAPER KILLED ME TODAY.

I FEEL SO SAD. :(

I've never been so depressed about a Chinese paper. 

I mean, okay, so maybe it doesn't matter so much to other people but it matters to me. Just like how much English, or Chemistry or Physics or Add Maths might matter to you.

And what's more:

IS GOING TO SINGAPORE.

I want to go, and the only way I can persuade my parents to let me go down to Singapore to catch Chicago live all the way from London's West End is if I get super good results.
But, no chance of that happening now, seeing as I screwed a paper up on the very first day of the exams. :(

So yes, stupid exams.

Let Me Tell You About My Day

Oh my god.
I don't think I've ever been this hungry in my life.
I don't think I've been this busy until I have simply no time to eat anything in my life.
I don't think I've ever been so happy to eat an omelette in my life.

In the midst of handling the club data today, the only food I got to eat from when I woke up this morning until I left school to go for tuition are TianYoon's Tiger biscuits and a cup of wedges. Seriously.
This morning I woke up late, and I skipped breakfast at home, deciding I would just eat breakfast in school. But for some reason when I reached school, I forgot to eat my breakfast. =.= so, no breakfast for me. Then during recess, I ignored my grumbling stomach and headed straight to the edboard room to continue editing the club data that I was editing this morning just after assembly. No recess food for me. :(
after school, I continued editing the club data until I had to go for my class page photo-taking. In the middle of the photo-taking I leave for my edboard meeting, only to leave for the last shot of class photo-taking before returning for the meeting.
And after the meeting, I went straight to tuition and only came home about an hour ago. No lunch for me. :'(
And that pretty much sums up my day.

So today I found out that:
1. I don't understand how people can starve themselves for a bleedin' diet!
2. My hair still smells good even after one stinky sweaty day at school. :)
3. Fried omelette tastes really, really yummy.
4. We need a bigger edboard room, aircond and many many more computers.and maybe like a soundproof room for meetings. And maybe like a stereo too. :D
5. Gardenia's chocolate muffin doesn't taste as good as I thought it would be.
6. One day I would like to go bring lots and lots of food to Africa and let the Africans eat a healthy and delicious meal. A meal that is not even fit for a king. Okay i shall write that down in my List of Things I Want to Do Before I Die.

and tomorrow I shall say: TGI Friday!
:D

Monday Blues

Arrgh, the Chinese New Year holiday laziness has taken it's toll on me. :(
Honestly speaking, it's not like I don't have the energy to do, well, things. I know I can and will do things once I set my mind to it, but the keyword here is laziness :(

I want (and really need) my mojo back!
There're so many things I still have to do, and that doesn't include studyig for the exams which, bytheway, are just ONEMEASLYWEEK away! :O

I had my first real experience of Monday Blues today when I went to school feeling less cheerful and less energetic than I usually would've felt, felt so tired and slightly pathetic in class- being antisocial (only for today, I promise. Tonight I shall sleep early and wake up feeling like I own the world) and worrying about things that I never, never should have worried about in first place. All those together with the heat made me feel absolutely miserable and...vunerable.
Unfortunately, after school wasn't any better (at least literature class was fruitful) and it was only after I had sunken into the cozy sofa of my air-conditioned study room did I feel slightly better.
And then I started to think about what a complete bore I was in school today. My classmates
were probably thinking: whatonearth what's wrong with her, looking so emo. =.=

well that's alright, because tomorrow shall be a better day. :)
And as an attempt to get my mojo back (and to stop the laziness before I get too attatched to it and throw away a perfectly good senior year in high school) after this blog post I shall go grab my school bag and finish doing my homework and then I shall go study like I've studied
before, because I want to go catch Chicago The Musical in Singapore this April/May and the only way I can ever persuade my parents to let me go is if I get good results. :/

Fuhgiggly Gland

I have my baby back, the final term is finally over (time flies!) and I'm going to watch a nice movie and do a bit of shopping tomorrow. :)

If I say that life cannot get any better than this, well then I'm lying.

Because there always is something much better coming your way.

And so I shall not lie, and just end my short post by saying that life, at the moment, is good.

:)

Neutral Colours

I have been receiving TheStar SMS News Alert starting 2 days ago and it's proved very useful to me, since I don't ever touch the newspaper. :)

I mean, without it I would've never known that President Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize for his hard work and duty to the US. Which bytheway, he greatly deserves it.

Anyway, i just realized that there're only 3 days left to the re-starting of exams, which means that I have to get my butt working on my Add Math practicing, which also means that I have about 4 days to retrieve my phone after a long wait of 6 months, hooray!

Oh yes, after the exams I'll be plunged into a hurricane of GOTONG-ROYONG and I'll need a mask to prevent the unavoidable dust from tickling my nose and making me sneeze. I cannot believe I still have two rows of plushies sitting on my shelf (dust collectors, dear dear) and children poetry books on my bookshelf. Goodbye those and hello to my new rows of classics and Readers' Digest!

I can't wait. :)

Aaaand I don't know what to blog about anymore.

Bye.

Faux-11

I'm so glad that exams are at a temporarily halt, because I don't think I can study hard with all the drilling going on downstairs and the hammering and my constant thinking about my early-planned EXTREMELY REASONABLY PRICED YEAR-END HOLIDAYS.

:)

This year end is going to be such a good one and one full of knowledge, sociality and experience, I'll bet you anything. Though there may be nothing like staying at Home-Sweet-Home and enjoying a nice cup of tea (or a gazillion bottles of Coke), there is also nothing like going to China for a nice knowledgeable trip.

I shall be able to improve my Chinese and when I come back I'll have loads of cultural China stuff to talk about with Mum. :)

And this, I say is early-planned because I don't usually plan my holidays/get to know about my holiday trips until one month before them. And as for this year I planned by holidays in ONE NIGHT'S TIME (say, in an hour) and reached a decision whereby Mum has granted me her permission to travel alongside a few other students.

This, as Dad will always say, is a good exposure. Haha.

ANYWAY, I am prepared to spend ONE WHOLE LAZY DAY of doing absolutely NOTHING ADVANTAGEOUS to my studies like eating raspberry liquorice (expiry date 20th October), scraping movies to watch on my laptop and/or watch loads and loads of Youtube videos until I get sick of Youtube.

And here's to everyone who studied well in exams and those who have earned this little one week rest well. :)

P/S: I feel like my blogging's getting more and more formal, and I hope this is result of my maturity and also because I've been thinking too much about Britains and their lovely accents.

Attitude and Aptitude

I feel pimples popping up all over my face.

This and my constant slight headache is a sign of examination nerves.

And this, is not good for my health nor for anyone-who-has-been-behaving-like-I-have-in-order-to-study-for-the-exams' health.

I am desperately craving for the PMR holidays (aka the day after tomorrow, whoopee!) so that I can have nice good sleeps and wake up with a refreshing spirit to start my Study of the Day.

Which equals to full preparation of the subjects ahead, no more headache and no more pimples!

Pimples are a serious sign of my lack of sleep and my exam strain, because I don't really ever get pimples (which is one very very good thing, (: )!

But my headache today got me into a full concentration mode during exams- I was up studying late last night (not good for health, repeat: NOT GOOD FOR HEALTH) and fell into a nightmare, urrrghhh- but I am never doing last minute revisions ever again.

This is a self-promise that I WILL fulfill, so you will not see anymore OMGIHAVEN'TSTUDIED frustration venting on my blog! :)

I suddenly feel like I'm blogging in a slightly sullen and formal tone, and I have no idea why.

Cheerio!

Mathematical Disorder

My self-esteem has been re-boosted after the horrible incident yesterday.

I am going to keep reminding myself that I can do things as long as I put a strong mind into it and sleep early. Because staying up for 24 hours does not help and it only makes my head spin.

So, I am going to study hard now (remember the Inspiration!) and party hard in the evening. :)

I am celebrating the Moon Cake Festival later at night and am prepared to indulge a bunch of chips, Australian liquorice (raspberry flavor, yum), bottles of soft drinks and of course (who could forget, it's the Food of the Celebration)- mooncakes.

I find enlarging and underlining and coloring font pretty and fun, thus the result of my blog post above. :)

Quantum Bungaloo

Today is THE WORST DAY ever.

It was so bad, that I almost cried in school.

And then it got even worse when I was standing there waiting for Melody while she was discussing questions and answers at the top of her voice!

And everyone was so into discussion that no one even noticed my I-am-going-to-die-die-die-die-die face, not that I wanted them to notice it anyway.

ARRRUUGGHH.

The only thing I'm glad about now is that it's the weekends, glad that I have two free days of revision so as not to screw up the rest of my papers.

And this is not the kind of study-freak post where the author claims that she's going to die when all she really got was perhaps a B+ instead of an aimed A but is the kind of post where when the author she's going to die, she REALLY IS.

Meet Me Halfway

I haven't been online for the WHOLE WEEK, and believe it or not, I am now online for study purposes. :)

That's right, I am printing additional exercises for Chem because I am determined not to flunk it.

P/S: I don't care what people say about the Black-Eyed Peas, I like them for all that's worth.

Eye Of The Tiger

I just finished my packing for my Taman Negara, Pahang trip. Whoopee!

Yes, I am going to the middle of the jungle for 3 days and bringing my books to study with me.

Though I highly, highly doubt there'll be any time for studying in between all the jungle trekking, boat-riding, sightseeing and resting out of exhaustion.

Fun for the Holidays, Boo for the Upcoming Final Term. I'll be smiling and frowning at the same time, if such thing is even possible.

And then when I come back I have lunch to go to the next day, and tuition to go to the day after that, and then- studying studying and more studying.

Now I am going off to dinner at my godbrothers' house, and we'll either be playing Monopoly/Cluedo/PokerCards there or cramming for our FinalTerm/SPM.

P/S: The Black-Eyed Peas, The All-American Rejects AND Beyonce are holding concerts respectively on the 25th September (Hari Raya, cramming for exam), 10th October (PMR Holidays, two exam papers left to cram for) and 31 October (HALLOWEEN AND A CONCERT. HOW COOL IS THAT?) :D

Pineapple Juice

I have no idea which one was the worst.

Midterm Chem paper, or today's Chem paper. :S

I shall not blog about it.

I have a choice of either crossing my fingers or studying HARD for the next 2 Chem papers

I obviously need to devote time to study Chem on a daily basis, but as I said, no self-promises. By the end of the day/month/year I'll be labelled a self-promise breaker.

So much for blogging about studying my butt off today's Chem test.

I'm just thankful that the Malaysia announced a last-minute-holiday, giving me

• one extra day to study
• the time to go buy pants before I set off for Pahang
• at least one good night of sleep before I wake up to a full late-night study mode again

And now I am off to relax, read a book, watch some TV before going to tuition and coming back to -

OMGITSRAININGMYRABBIT!

*Okay I'm back and I just saved my rabbit from being drenched in acid rain (you're probably thinking: whatintheworld-?)

But anyway, I shall end this post with a BIG BIRTHDAY SHOUTOUT to CARMEN CHUA, who just turned sixteen today, :)

HAPPY SIXTEEN, CARMEN.

Off The Tip of My Tongue

I think I could just kill Limewire right now if it were a breathing object.

I tell you it just bugs the hell outta me when I see the "network error" message.

Which means no music downloading until I-dunno-when.

Anyway, the finals have officially started and I, as usual, am screwed.

It's like I can never achieve a perfect average score but then again this is what I get for ditching intense listening to my teachers (unlike the rest of my verysmart classmates) when in class and the laziness to study for the exams until the very last minute.

Promising myself never gets me anywhere so I have stopped self-promises.

But as of a few weeks ago I have found the best ever inspiration to study because I do not want to be left out as the dumb one. And I will study my butt off and cram every single information in my head even if it kills me. Which is what I did for BM Lit. and am doing now for Chem.

BM Lit. was OK today, I feel proud for studying all 25 pieces of literature when all that came out was 2. I am pretty sure I got my answers right even though my fingers felt like they were torn apart by the end of the 2 1/2 hour non-stop-writing paper. :)

And as for English I wrote a proper ending for my essay this time! This is the big difference of bringing a watch to school and knowing how many insanely minutes are left to the end of the paper.

And now I'm off to study for Chem, whoopee!

I Failed Additional Mathematics, By 2 Marks

Yes I might as well announce it to the whole wide world, since I'm not like the only one who failed. I just need two marks to pass, and damnit I will dig up two marks if it takes the rest of my life day. If only momsie could understand that examinations in FormFour are not as easy as it used to be back when I was in the lower form. :/

But still, that's no excuse to my failing my Add Math. I could've done waaay better.

By the bye, I got tagged by my sis, and this must be one of the most interesting tags I've ever seen! Although I have to resort to using Google Search when it comes to a few answers. :)

---------

It's harder than it looks! Copy to your own blog, erase my answers, enter yours, and tag ten people. Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real - nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers. You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/girl name question.

What is your name : Rachel Ho

2. A four Letter Word : Rope (it was the second word that popped into my head!)

3. A boy's Name : Errr, Rick.

4. A girl's Name : Rachel! :D

5. An occupation : Radio DJ

6. A color : RED.

7. Something you'll wear : Raincoat

8. A drink : Root beer

9. A food : Ravioli

10. Something found in the bathroom : Erm, a rug?

11. A place : Russia! (I love their accent) :)

12. A reason for being late : Rush hour traffic (typical)

13. Something you'd shout : RAWR!

14. A movie title : Ratatouille (I have always loved Pixar cartoons and I always will!)

15. A book title : Romeo and Juliet! <3>

Quote of the day:
Seck Wei [A.Wake] says:
anyway brb
saya go pom pom
Rachel says:
HAHA

That's right SeckWei, you just got quoted. X)

Growing Fertilisers

I didn't know how to do a quarter half the questions of the Add Math paper today.

The front part was easy, and I finished that like, in 1 and a half hours.

And then I just sat there. Waiting. Staring at my paper. And then I solved two questions that I initially didn't know how to do!

But that was it. And all that kept popping up in my head was "screw Add Math, screw Add Math. I don't care I just wanna go home". Because I've had my worst, and Add Math wasn't that hard compared to Chemistry. Because my Chem was just a piece of shit.

Bio was, well, pretty bad too.

What with the teacher who kept reminding us how many minutes we have left before we have hand in our paper.

You can FEEL THE PRESSURE I tell you. The IMMENSE PRESSURE.

I was just surprised my hands weren't sweating or shaking with anxiety and panic.

Well anyway, it's over.

And tomorrow shall be a happy happy day, because it's TheDayRachelGoesToSingaporeToAttendHerCousin'sWeddingAfterSchool!

Whee!

I LOVE SINGAPORE. :)

Spare Me Your Freakin' Dirty Looks Now Don't Blame Me

Chemistry sucked today

I flunked it

I'm doomed

I'm done for

This is the end

BAHH!

Rachel's Quote for the Day:

What is the (friggin') point of having a textbook if you can't even refer to it?!

Point proven: Physics textbook, CHEMISTRY TEXTBOOK.

Of Pimples and Ulcers

I promised pictures of my primary school to Pei and Seckwei, so here they are.

LOOK WHAT THEY DID TO THE SCHOOL GROUNDS?

ISN'T IT JUST FAB OR WHAT?! :D

Oh and as for the exams today-

I practically flushed Physics down the toilet.

But BM was not bad.

Thank god it's Chem and English tomorrow. Imagine if they had Add Math and Bio together at the same day!

Mad World

OHMYGOSH I am so tired of studying.

Except that, I didn't REALLY study for 15 hours a day like I originally planned to.

I mean, I DID study. While watching TV, that is. And listening to my ipod. And taking frequent "study breaks", and walking my dog, and playing with my dog. And texting. Lots and lots of texting.

But still, one can get tired of studying when one is SUPPOSED to be on holiday had not one's school stupidly set the exams to finish AFTER the holidays instead of BEFORE like THE REST THE WORLD.

Wow I just realised I used a lot of caps for this blog post.

Well never mind, maybe that'll attract more people to read this pathetic blog of mine.

Anyway, I think the exam spirit depression has hit a lot of people. Well, except me. I must be the sole person in CHS who doesn't feel a single thing about the exams.

Everywhere I text I get replies like 'What have you finished studying?' or 'Have you finished [insert subject here]?' or 'Will you study PJK and Civic? No right? Because no time, right?'

God, this holiday really really sucks.

Exam's arriving in one day and I am so not fully prepared.